


A Unanimous Agreement

by NoisyNoiverns



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4651746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoisyNoiverns/pseuds/NoisyNoiverns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Council has a low-key tradition of getting together after hours to discuss recent events over alcohol. Today's topic: Shepard's choice for councilor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Unanimous Agreement

“So I’m like, if the next damn word out of this stupid kid’s mouth is ‘Udina,’” Sparatus was saying, bottle of whiskey clutched in one hand like a lifeline, “I’m finally going to just fucking kill them, like I don’t care if they just saved my life, I’m fucking killing them.”

Valern swirled his wine in its glass, watching the other two councilors over the rim. After-hours drinking parties were always… _interesting_. Sparatus drank heavily, but his fast turian metabolism kept him from getting _too_ drunk. A drowsy drunk, the little get-togethers were never really over until Sparatus couldn’t keep his head up. Tevos, on the other hand, steadily worked her way through a glass every hour or so, but she was almost as smashed as Sparatus. Valern himself took the longest of the three to get hammered, thanks to both his metabolism and years of practice, so he doubted the others even knew how high his tolerance was.

Given earlier events, he wouldn’t be surprised if today was the day they found out.

He tossed the contents of the glass back as Tevos slurred, “Goddess, could you imagine _Udina_ as councilor? There’d be no escape.”

“Now _that_ would be a fucking outrage,” Sparatus grumbled, mandibles fluttering erratically.

Valern nodded to himself in agreement as he reached for the wine nestled neatly among the picture frames on Tevos’ desk, twitching one eye membrane as his hand momentarily slipped. He probably shouldn’t have started off with the wine from a colony known for strong alcohol.

As he carefully poured himself another glass, Tevos raised her head and looked over his shoulder. “Oh, hello, Anderson,” she said, managing to slur only a little bit.

Valern considered turning, then just shrugged and flipped his head so his spine curved over the back of the chair. It was too low for him, anyway. Upside-down and across the room, Captain Anderson was standing in the doorway, shifting awkwardly. “I, uh…” He coughed into his fist. “I was just trying to get myself acquainted with the tower. You know, before the swearing-in and all that.” He hesitated a moment, then asked, “Is that alcohol?”

Valern sighed and flipped back upright as Tevos waved him in. “Don’t try the stuff from Mannovai. Dalatrass Vaehirn’s gifts are things you should be wary of.”

Anderson stood by the desk, looking concerned. “Is that someone I should know?”

“You’ll run into her eventually. Probably literally. The dalatrasses typically only deal with me, but now and then they’ll drop by to complain at me in person. You’ll know her when you see her. Very short, only…” He had to pause to do the math in his head. Damn conversions. “One, two… Six thirties of your human centimeters. That’s what they’re called, right?”

Anderson frowned as he did the necessary math. “Six thirties, that’s a hundred-eighty…” His eyes widened. " _Six feet?_ You call that _short?_ ”

Valern blinked slowly at him, then unfolded his legs and stood up to his full height, towering over Anderson, who only reached the middle of his upper arm. He wobbled a bit, still feeling the effects of the alcohol, then folded his arms and looked down at the tiny human. “Yes.”

Anderson made a quiet little “oh” noise, and Valern sat back down, rearranging himself so his legs were once again haphazardly folded in a way that was comfortable to him but most definitely not the way the chair was intended to be used. After a moment of awkward fidgeting, Anderson took a seat in the chair next to him, cautiously reaching for an innocuous-looking bottle. “You three do this often?”

“Not particularly,” Tevos said. “But after recent events, can you blame us?”

The group collectively shuddered, remembering the disastrous battle they’d nearly lost their lives in earlier that week. Valern still wasn’t entirely certain Sparatus was technically allowed to leave the hospital, or at least the careful supervision of his family, and his own information networks were scrambling to find and patch the holes that the casualties of the geth attack had suddenly opened.

Anderson considered, then shook his head. “No, I suppose not. Honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened. Geth attack the Citadel, that Sovereign thing… and _I’m_ the councilor. That’s the weirdest part. I mean, Shepard thought _I_ would make a good councilor?”

Sparatus lifted his head from where he’d tucked it down into his cowl for rest, mandibles flaring out lazily. “Think of it this way,” he drawled. “Shepard thought you’d be better than _Udina_.”

Another collective shudder went around, this one fiercer than the last. “And so the conversation loops back to where it was,” Valern grumbled, inspecting his wine.

Anderson looked around the group. “You really don’t like Udina, do you?”

The question was answered with a chorus of “of course not”s and “are you kidding?”s. “The less we have to work with Ambassador Udina, the better,” Tevos declared, before taking another drink of her brandy.

Sparatus let out a yawn, long and loud, then sank back into his chair. “He’s noisy, he’s pushy, he’s rude, he’s arrogant,” he rambled, voice slowly getting less coherent. “Nobody really likes him, everyone knows he only got the job ‘cause the Alliance wanted somebody who would stick to their agenda regardless of whether or not it would be wisest to compromise or back down…” He yawned again and put his head back down into his cowl. “Stupid Udina,” he concluded, one mandible falling sideways.

Valern nodded, setting his wine glass down so he could pull up his omni-tool and start a message to Sparatus’ wife asking her to pretty please come help her husband home. “I need to book a flight back to Jaeto. It’s been years since I last went to temple, but I think Udina not getting a councilor recommendation is worth the trip.”

Anderson nodded and lifted his bottle in a little toast. “Now there’s something we can _all_ agree on.”


End file.
